As you get older, best friends are harder to come by. Does anyone else feel that way?
Of course you have a million best friends growing up. I felt like I had too many to keep up with! But when I moved to Mississippi, it was so so different. No one knew who I was. They had no idea about my childhood growing up with a big crazy family that would sing in four-part-harmony in the middle of a grocery store. No idea that I loved musical theater and that at any given moment I could bust out with spirit fingers singing “Give my regards to Broadway” in a crowd of strangers. That I never missed a Sunday in church, tennis was my favorite sport, and instead of waking up to an alarm clock, we woke up to my mother and father singing “Rise up oh man of God” as a duet. That when I was 16 I ran from the cops, jumped a fence in platform shoes and broke my ankle–then hid in a bush for a couple of hours until it was safe to hobble home. This was also the night before Easter Sunday, and instead of taking me to the hospital when they found out the next morning, my parents left me at home and went to church. I was a heathen and would have to suffer until morning worship was over. (And yes, I know what you are thinking. They knew she had a broken ankle and didn’t take her straight to the emergency room? Feel free to call CPS)
So how are you supposed to explain your entire childhood and all the experiences that have made you who you are to a girl you just met over two martinis and twenty minutes of small-talkin’ at a wedding party?
You can’t.
And even if you see that same girl six more times at six different wedding parties for six different couples because everybody and their mother gets married in the same six month period, she still might not ever become one of your best friends.
And that is what I had to realize when I first moved here. These women were raised here and had been cruising these dirt roads together since they were sixteen. And they knew all the girls they were with because they all got in the same class when they were in 3rd grade and hadn’t split up since. And that every hilarious and life-changing moment, whether it be tipsy, sober, spiritual or heart-breaking was something they had shared together.
And to tell you the truth–it just made me miss my friends back home. My childhood friends that called me Kalika, my high school friends that called me KalCan, and my college friends that called me Weirdo Beardo. (My maiden name was Kallie Beard)
And even though I spent my first two years in Mississippi clinging to Luke, still going out and socializing and having a great time with these wonderful women that were extremely nice to me, I wished I could find my new best friend.
I’m talking about the sista-kind. The one-of-a-kind. The hard-to-find. The oh-my-gosh-I-cant-live-without-you-because-you-are-the-only-person-in-this-freaking-state-that-understands-me-kind.
The kind that you share so many inside jokes with that you can speak in a language of your own and people around you are confused.
The kind that you have laughed so hard with you can’t help but flare your nostrils even though you know it is the most unattractive thing a woman can do.
The kind that you call and say “what are WE doing this weekend” instead of ”what are YOU doing this weekend”.
Don’t you just love when you find a friend like that?
Well, I found Kathryn.
And even though she keeps a clean house and likes to cook (two things I can’t seem to accomplish in life), she is one wild child that has become like family. Like a sister.
So many women get married and move far away from home and family. Hats off to the ones that do. It is exciting but challenging, adventurous but intimidating. For any girl that is in the same place I was two years ago, my prayer is that you find your new best friend.
A sista-friend.
The End.
That’s my sister-friend too! She is the greatest, and I’m ok with sharing, as long as it’s with you! Speaking of, what arrrre WE doing this weekend?!?! Love the two of you! — Reba
love sista kat!!! she really is the greatest!! and she sure knows how to rock that green dress!
she is the best daughter-in-law too! I love all you girls!
Kallie I know just how you felt when I moved to the Delta 40 years ago. I was so sad at first because I did not have a bestest friend. My Aunt Martha told me friendships are built over the sharing of experiences, good and time. She was so right God blessed me with the dearest friend who has shared good, bad and ugly with me for almost 40 years. We even share secrets were are not suppose to share. Msdge has been a real blessing to me and our family and I am so pleased God has blessed you with Kathyrn. Love your other mother.
Kallie K- I love every word to this post. Not only because it’s about me but because it is so true! I never had a sister growing up so my sister-friends are VERY special ;) Oh and I can’t write good music/blog or have that crazy creative gene like you but you one wild child yo-self soooooooo…we’re even :D
I’m not much of a “commenter” but I couldn’t resist. I enjoyed teaching KMC in elementary school long ago – I’ll have to say that she got her wonderful, exuberant personality and quirky sense of humor from her mom!
Having a friendship like you described is truly a gift …
I’ve had my same ol’ Sistah-friend for 40+ years – we’ve moved far far apart and returned to the Delta – more than once! Still best buds. WE’ve added more sistahs and lost track of some – but still best buds. Sometimes ‘BFF’ is really TRUE! and lucky us that we understand the importance of having one and the blessings they bring to our lives!
you and Kathernine are both adorable w ith larger -than-life personalities – y’all are almost TWINS! LOL!!!
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend, and then I started to become a woman, and I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God would show you the best in many friends. One friend’s best is needed when you are going through things with your children. Another friend’s best is needed when you’re going through things with your mom. Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, “let’s pray together” another “let’s cry together” another “let’s fight together” another “let’s walk away together.” One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings. But whatever their asignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself…those are your friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it’s wrapped up in several…one from 7th grade, several from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on some days its the one with the fresh perspective, or the one who didn’t know all your baggage, or the one who would just listen without judging…those are good best friends.
I thank my girlfriends, those who honor intimacy, those who hold trust, and those who hold me up when life is just too heavy. The special bond we share is unique. Thanks for the words we’ve shared…the prayers we’ve sent up…the laughs, the tears, the phone calls, the e-mails, the shopping, the movies, the lunches, the dinners, the talking, talking, talking and the listening, listening, listening…So whether you’ve been there 20 minutes or 46 years, I love you.
Thank you for touching my life.
(A friend gave me this on a bookmark once and I loved it – had to share…)
Tried to post this last week on the iPhone but wouldn’t go through for some reason. Anyway, the expression in our family is “sista-babe” which has digressed over the years to “tutta-babe” – a term of endearment that NO ONE but a Delta girl could possibly understand.
You keep me laughing, Ms. Dreyer.
Kallie-
I LOVE this. Kat is one special lady and your words were perfect :)
miss y’all EREday……come see me!
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